Sh*t (literally) Richard Says
...today's column is by Richard William Gilbert, or as he identifies himself during OWR: The First Gentleman
Thoughts while walking my dog.
For some, it may be a bonding experience. For me, it is a mission. That’s why I have two poop bags stuffed in my jeans pocket.
There is a code for those of us who carry poop bags. When your pet does ‘the business,’ you clean it up. That means scooping ‘the business’ in your bag and continuing your walk swaggering with the bag, sort of like George Bush II did with the “Mission Accomplished” banner back in the Iraq War days.
It’s my dog. He pooped. My job: clean it up. Tempting as it is, I can’t slip the load into another homeowner’s trash container while waiting for a curbside pickup. Not cool.
There’s a metaphor here, albeit somewhat of a stretch. I’m thinking: My puppy, lovable as he, is what my friend and scientist Chris Jones would term a CAFO. That stands for Confined Animal Feeding Operation. And that, on a macro level, will become a bigger and bigger threat to the vast majority of Iowans. It already is.
Chris Jones, in his excellent book “The Swine Republic,” reports that confined livestock in Iowa produces poop equivalent to a human population of more than 138 million. Put that in context for a moment. If the U.S. population is around 330 million, that’s what it would be like if 40% of our fellow Americans were doing their ‘business’ on our front lawns. It would be hard to unsee that!
I don’t want to get any more scatological, but all of this animal pooping is going on without the benefit of sewage treatment facilities. That’s worth noting because the human sewage created by the 3.2 million Iowans goes to treatment plants. After all, that’s the law. The huge number of pigs, cows, chickens, and turkeys, just to name some big brands, aren’t included in the statutes. Free range is the case when CAFO is involved. The treatment plants are there to take polluted water (substitute ‘pooped in’) and make it drinkable again. That takes a special talent. Thankfully, we have dedicated folks who do that.
So what is taking place is a collision between science (facts), politics (who has the clout), and money (what will it take to clean up the water and how much are those interested in not changing the status quo will need to spend to keep the folks who make the laws to look the other way.)
I cited science, politics, and money. There’s one other fact at play. Arithmetic.
More People Drink Water than Pollute It - By A Lot = Voters
The poop leaches into the soil. The soil leaches into the state’s water system. Water tends to seek its flow downhill. More people live downstream than those whose livelihoods come from tending to the animals live upstream. Sooner or later, folks who run for public office will figure that out. Unless, of course, the money gets in the way.
Meanwhile, I’ll keep carrying two poop bags.
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I would call it astute, to take a task that many handle on a regular basis and turning it into a teaching moment is enlightening and brilliant! I salute you Richard!
This article is some good shit!