The Power of a Question

Several conversations were sparked as a result of a column written a few weeks ago about asking my husband what life changes he would make if he was told he had just two years to live.

His answer is why we are currently aboard a boat in one of the most quaint, historic towns of the United States: Annapolis.

I’ve been honored to have some of those conversations other readers have had with their partners shared with me. Thank you.

A friend turned the question to me the other night and kept asking it in different layers. My answers did not include trips to far-off lands, immersing myself in foreign (to me) cultures, as they might have had I been asked the question a few years back.

I realized he was projecting on me what he would have answered (travel) while at the same time, I was getting clarity on my own response to the question.

I have few regrets, but I do wish my spirit of adventure had matched my budget throughout life. Still, I settled for canoeing in the ‘rapids’ of an Iowa river, camping on hard ground with my son, bicycling a few days of RAGBRAI, then packing up everything to move to Annapolis.

As my friend probed for my answer (I prefer asking rather than answering questions), the answer is:

I’m doing it.

Purposeful work remains a priority, and authentic connections the other.

I have little interest in the kinds of activities that filled my calendar in days gone by—crowded events filled with small talk—nope.

Lunch with a new friend, dancing around real, personal conversations, takes precedence. Or a longtime friend, catching up on life.

Yesterday, I looked deep into the eyes of the tiny second son of a young man I have known since he was little. In an instant, I knew I loved the little guy and appreciated the moment, the family, and the lifetime we've shared. The infant’s grandfather had died precisely 19 years and one day earlier.

There are gifts longevity brings in these moments, especially seeing a hand gesture made by the young dad that was an echo of his missing father. The thread of continuity from generation to generation came alive in that second.

So, the answer to the question of what’s important for me right now is: I’ll continue to seek and cherishing those moments of connection. I don’t need to see old buildings, and ruins, and the pyramids, and, and, and.

I’d love to, but seeing things are not at the top of my list. Experiencing humanity and nature is.

And, I’ll be appreciating you, and what we are doing here together.

Examining life in its complexity is fascinating. As this subscriber community grows, your being here gives me the invitation to be mindful of observation, being awake, and noticing the emotion evoked in a grandmother and father’s gaze at their newest family member.

Otherwise, I might be drifting— on autopilot—chugging along a mechanically steered and predictable course,

So, thank you.

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The Okoboji Writers’ and Songwriters’ Retreat is around the corner (September 29-October 1).

If you would like to receive information about speakers, workshops, panels, and other activities, please click here and susbscribe to a special Substack column I’ve created to keep in touch with participants, past and future.

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It’s an honor to be part of the Iowa Writers’ Collaborative—a powerhouse of over 70 professional writers from across the state, plus a few former Iowans who still have plenty to say about the place that shaped them.

If you haven’t checked out our recent roundup of columns, you’re missing smart, thoughtful commentary. Read it regularly, and you’ll find yourself impressing friends with how in-the-know you suddenly are.

Here’s this week’s Wednesday Flipside edition—packed with feature stories that are as compelling as they are endearing. Don’t miss Phoebe Wall Howard’s stunning interview with the mother of a young child abused by the girl’s grandfather—an unforgettable and courageous piece of journalism.

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Thanks, Kathleen, for supporting the scholarship fund by becoming a paid subscriber.

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Chris Cillizza

will be our Monday Zoom guest next week. Subscribers will receive a link to the call on Monday morning.

From his Substack About page:

Why ‘So What?’

I spent the better part of two decades working for big media companies like CNN and the Washington Post. And I noticed something: We spent so much of our time telling people what happened and so little explaining why it mattered and what might be coming next.

I wanted to change that. So I launched “So What?” — my personal newsletter designed to taking you behind the scenes of big events in Washington and the country.

I am convinced that people want analysis with their news now. They want to know why something matters to them or is deserving of their time almost simultaneously with learning the news.

We live in an over-stuffed media ecosystem. It’s hard to know where to look, when and why. That’s where I come in.

Every day I will try to take you past the headlines, providing insight about what motivates Washington’s power players and where to look next in the story.

This is a passion project. Most of my content is free and will stay that way. I want to make sure that as many people are reading — and sharing — it as possibl