By Richard Gilbert
Mitchellville, IA: This past Saturday, I attended a memorial gathering for my one and only high school homecoming queen.
Out of a class of 88 that graduated in 1958 from Chariton High School, I was the lone representative attending. Not even she was there. She passed away after a long illness in a Long Beach, CA, hospital on May 13, 2021. Her cremains were scattered on a bluff above the Pacific shortly after her death; She was 81.
Her name was Linda Milnes, and later Linda Swarthout. She married Ed Swarthout, her high school sweetheart, and CHS football star, right out of high school, and in a few short years, they had three kids. After several jobs in the Midwest, the couple packed up the family and moved to Southern California, never to return to Iowa except for short visits with family.
But Linda and I kept in touch over all the years— at the class reunions, but primarily by phone or letter and in later years by email. In middle age, I realized why I always tried to stay connected.
Saturday, just before I walked out the door to make the short drive to her sister Marti Kline’s home in rural Mitchellville, where the gathering took place, Julie framed for me best why I was off to be with a bunch of strangers to honor the memory of a long-ago classmate,
She reminded me of a famous quote by the poet Maya Angelou:
“People will forget what you said; People will forget what you did. But people will always remember how you made them feel,” Maya Angelou
That summarized what drew me to show up for the gathering of her large family on a sunny and windy October afternoon.
Despite the distance and infrequent contact, I had always considered Linda one of my dearest and most special friends. I was able to put in a letter before she died about how much she did for me when we were both teenagers, even though I am sure at the time she didn’t have a clue.
This I remember: We were passing on the steps of the Chariton public library on an October day in 1957, not unlike this past Saturday, and she stopped to say hi. I already knew who she was: the highest-ranking member of our class royalty, a queen who seemed to acknowledge my existence! And beyond just a smiling hello, we had an actual conversation, and she wanted to know how I was doing and, I guess, other stuff though I can’t remember any more than that,
What I do know is that I was an awkward and nerdy 17-year-old newcomer to the Class of ‘58, having moved from Seymour to Chariton just weeks before to complete my senior year. She reached out to me as a new friend. I felt included in our class and valued at a time when I was pretty miserable and largely friendless. I still remember those welcome feelings enough that I write them here.
Saturday, when I met her sister, Marti, and the extended family, it was only minutes before I realized that Linda’s welcoming qualities run in the family.
All three of Linda’s offspring have it. I had a warm and welcoming conversation with Kelly Jo, the big sister, and her brothers Eric and Kirk, all three almost lifelong Californians. (Another instance of how Iowa exports her young to the Sun Belt.)
Another converted Californian was Linda’s younger brother, Eldon, Chariton, class of 1959. He had a long career as an environmental analyst, was in the Navy, and deployed on a fast-attack nuclear submarine. His ship was part of President Kennedy’s naval blockade in October 1963, known as the Cuban Missile Crisis.
The family hospitality included a good send-off. As I prepared to leave after a three-hour visit, Marti insisted I take home slices of cherry pie, real blackberries tarts, and carrot cake to “share with Julie” because it turns out Marti reads her column.
Maya Angelou had it right.
We never forget how someone made us feel. When I left the memorial gathering for my long-ago homecoming queen, I felt good.
Here is a link to Linda Milnes Swarthout’s obituary:
https://www.charitonleader.com/obituaries/article_6f4f6670-cd4b-11eb-9e61-4f58a9d3e227.html
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Thank you, Richard. This memorial tribute to a homecoming queen brings to mind the message that we should hold “celebrations of life” for the living, so we don’t miss the opportunity to share wonderful things about them while they’re here to hear them!
I love this one!