A Moving Talk by U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy
...and his call to action
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Tearing up was not what I expected would happen when I attended an appearance by the United States Surgeon General Vivek Murthy on Wednesday.
He was speaking at Drake University under the auspices of the Harkin Institute, a relatively new force in the metro area brought to us by Tom and Ruth Harkin. The theme of his topic was ‘wellness in schools,’ a program within the annual Wellness Symposium produced by the Institute.
Tom Harkin’s reaction after Murthy’s appearance echoed what it felt like sitting in the room.
I thought that his message and words were clear, profound, instructive, and I could tell they were genuinely felt by Dr. Murthy. I know that many in the live audience were very moved by his presentation, and so was I… Senator Tom Harkin
Loneliness and Isolation
Loneliness, and isolation is a focus for this ‘top doc’ to our nation, and it brought me back to an experience I had as a 10-year-old.
Hey, relatively speaking, my childhood was as good as it gets. But one mean-girl experience changed my life, and it’s a part of my life script that’s always running in the background.
I have no idea why, but a girl I had thought was a close friend had a birthday party and didn’t invite me. Not only that, but one of the girls at the party called that night to make sure I knew I hadn’t been included. I have no clue as to why this happened.
I can describe what the girl’s house looked like, down to the avocado-colored wall phone in the kitchen the little girl used that night to taunt me. Her bedroom was a thing of beauty with matching floral wallpaper, bedspread, and curtains.
I also coveted the red velvet cake I knew she’d have for her birthday. Her mother wouldn’t share the recipe so the only time I had that rareity was at her house.
Birthday parties are a big deal when you’re a kid. The feeling of being ostracized was a wound that followed me into adulthood.
I withdrew from my peer group, except for one friend. She was it. I didn’t join clubs, or go to prom, parties, even high school graduation. My subconscious brain was protecting me from rejection.
Feelings implanted by that phone call became a running script in an internal worthiness conversation I’ve had ever since. Thanks to personal growth work, I’ve let most of it go, but it can be triggered at a moments notice.
You have stories of your own, I suspect. Dr. Murthy did, too, and shared his experiences of isolation and loneliness as a child, woven into this dialogue with Rekha Basu, retired Des Moines Register columnist, who facilitated this ‘fireside chat.’
That was then. This is NOW.
Imagine what young people today must be going through with the weapons of social media cutting deeper than a phone call, because those mean-kid moments are broadcast to everyone in a peer group— and live forever on social media.
Adding fuel to this raging fire was the total upheaval of normal, real-time, social interaction among young people, thanks to a world-wide, death-inducing, global pandemic.
The toxic ingredients of this stew have brought us to a scalding boiling point.
Suicide rates have skyrocketed. When Murthy visits students on college campuses he hears a recurring refrain about the impacts quarantining had on impressionable youth, isolating in small bubbles, connected only by technology (for those who had it). They tell him it feels weird to re-engage socially, and some describe feeling their maturity was arrested back to the time they withdrew into private worlds.
Off the top of my head, I can list young people I know here in Iowa who have shut down, had suicidal thoughts, and been hospitalized with acute psychotic episodes.
This week, an education reporter for the New York Times talked about absenteeism and a generation full of young people who have given up on school, and on life. The podcast: Kids Are Missing School at an Alarming Rate
Loneliness? How can that be an issue the government addresses? Our top doc is doing just that as a national champion for change that can impact ‘wellness in schools,’ the theme of the 2024 Harkin Institute Wellness Symposium.
He likens the response required is similar to when traffic deaths spiraled out of control and safety measures were enacted by congress.
We have a problem. A big problem. An epidemic, according to the U.S. Surgeon General.
Murthy’s soft voice, and empathetic conversation brought us into a soul connection through his personal revelations. And, he created an opening for us to share ours.
That’s where healing can begin. Telling our stories.
And naming the issue can be a step towards addressing it.
Dr. Richard Deming
Dr. Richard Deming, who is the Medical Director, of the MercyOne Richard Deming Cancer Center, was a one of the sponsors of the Symposium, so I followed up with him for his reaction.
“It was interesting and informative to learn about the medical impact loneliness and isolation on one’s health,” said Deming. “It negatively impacts can have on an individual's health as much as cigarette smoking.”
He added, personally, he’ll do a better job checking in on friends, as a result of hearing Murthy.
What Can We Do? Small steps
Murthy had suggestions for actions we can take. Stop letting calls from friends go to voicemail, and responding only by text. A human voice and connection is different. When possible, pick up the phone, even if it’s to say you’ll call back later. It matters.
Disconnect from technology. Walk in the woods. Be in nature. He’s observed that when schools restrict personal use of cell phones, students are more engaged and the noise level in the hallways between classes is higher because they are interacting.
Murthy suggested some policies could be codified to address the rampant dominance social media has in the lives of children today, likening the issue to a time before safety measures were put in place.
Decades ago, seatbelts and airbags were not mandatory. Now they are. We need to put guardrails in place on social media, says Murthy.
Kindness
Murthy tells us that we are by nature kind, but we need reminders. Especially during times when bullying has become a political strategy.
Harkin
I asked Senator Harkin to explain the process used by the Institute to select topics. He answered:
Every year we have an annual “Harkin on Wellness“ symposium. Until now, each of our annual meetings, concerned food. We gave awards to entities around the country that were doing innovative things and providing healthy food to low-income families. We also gave awards to entities that were promoting kids working in organic gardens.
This year because of the tremendous rise in mental health problems with youth, we devoted this symposium to that topic. Dr. Vivek Murthy, has written a book about this and has issued a Surgeon General warning and advisory about the epidemic of loneliness. Also, since I had known Dr. Murthy since 2013, it was just natural for us to invite him to be the presenter for this year‘s symposium.
Harkin added, “I hope we are making some impact, however, slight, in promoting prevention and wellness, to get ahead of the “sick curve“ that defines most of American healthcare.”
Based on the reaction from Murthy’s visit to Iowa, awareness of the severity of the issue is duly noted.
For more information about The Harkin Institute and future events: HARKIN INSTITUTE
Watch Rekha Basu’s conversation with Surgeon General Murthy
Dr. Murthy’s book is available at Beaverdale Bookstore. Buy local.
The Power of Storytelling and Human Connection
As readers of this column know, I am passionate about empowering people to tell their stories. That’s why I founded the Okoboji Writers’ Retreat (OWR) in 2021, coming out of Covid quarantine. It’s turned into a magical experience for three reasons, and seriously fun.
Culture: Our speakers embody a culture of inclusion and acceptance of all participants wherever they are on a skill-set spectrum. Participants are equally divided between newbies and professionals.
OWR takes place on 147 acres of rolling, wooded, lakeside property with a variety of small stone buildings that house small workshops taught by award-winning writers.
Variety. This year we will have over 60 speakers with expertise in memoir, fiction, nonfiction, poetry, playwriting, publishing, and this year, we’ve added 13 songwriters to help you write a song. No instrument required, but bring one if you want. There’s a story, a poem, a song, in everyone.
LEARN MORE ABOUT OWR SPEAKERS
Hey, did you see the Sunday Roundup of columns by other members of the Iowa Writers’ Collaborative?
Check it out:
Thank you!
You captured the session, took it beyond, and made it even more intimate. Loneliness...